Shame and the Imago Dei
End the Blame Game by Dealing with Shame
A current of fear is raging in my soul.
It prevents the belief I’ll ever be whole.
My internal sorrow is rooted in shame,
Seen in the game of affixing the blame.
I fight to be seen as the one without error,
For allegations of fault bring me to terror;
I fear you’ll discover what I already sense,
“I am defective;” perfection is my defense.
As I point a finger and judge you for sin,
It’s my cover for the flowing fear within.
Shame screams to me, “I am defective,”
This becomes the source of my invective.
If I seem out of control and full of anger,
The one you love may become a stranger.
I’m struggling to grasp God’s truth of me,
To fathom how His grace can set me free.
God says I’m in His image and bear His grace.
I’m the apple of His eye. He’s taken my place.
He’d never come to die for one without worth.
Pray I find rest in this Greatest Love on earth.
It’s the demon of shame driving my inner fear,
Convincing me, “No way God holds me dear.”
When I come to believe God over my shame,
I’ll love you as is and end the blame game.
Wade Burleson
I wrote the above poem about seven years ago. I hope it helps two people who hear it.
The one battling shame and pointing the finger of blame at another person as the source and/or solution for the pain they feel within. Typically, I see shame in those who claim to be victims of another’s narcissistic behavior. Psychologists think helping wounded people call out the problems in other people is the solution to one’s pain. In truth, only the love of God in Christ roots out inner shame and puts an end to the blame game.
The one having the finger of blame pointed at them. By God’s grace, you are called to love the wounded person accusing and affixing blame for their woundedness on you. At the same time, don’t take responsibility for “fixing” the wounded person. You can’t do it. Sometimes relationships fracture so that the one placing the blame realizes God’s grace in Christ Jesus is their only hope for healing the wounds caused by the demon of shame.